Your correct in the mentality of small towns. When the woman in Texas killed all of her kids, I think it was five of them, by drowning them in a tub (interesting isn't it?) everyone around was believing in seeking full justice for those kids. Most people sat back relieved that it could never happen here. And now that is has- well it couldn't possibly be his fault. No, it couldn't be that he is responsible- he has to be mentally ill. Not that I don;t believe he is. Most likely he truly does have a mental illness, I have never doubted that he does. My issue comes from whether or not the illness is responsible for his actions.
Your right about the bad things good people. This is not a case of a bad thing happening to a good person. This is a bad person, doing a bad thing.
On a personal note, I have tried for years to come to have a better understanding of those around me living with mental disorders. Watching how many have treated my dad, is why I have become so offended by ML's defense. He is helping to spread the misconceptions that many have been trying for years to wipe away. I once remember a friend of mine making a comment about how I could ever feel safe with my dad. I simply stated because he was my dad. Nothing to fear from him except those times he caught me being a wild teen. And even then, he reacted most likely how anyone would have. My dad always struggled to be a good person- and yet he was even without the struggle. I think he just forgot sometimes. I hated how people would assume the worse because of his disorder, and all those issues come back up when I hear people using the "mental illness" defense. My dad will tell you- any time I ever was disciplined, I always deserved it. And for the most part I would agree. Although I still think my sister should have gotten way more than me. She didn't though.
As for your family. I left home at 18. Not on speaking terms with anyone. It took a thousand miles between us for me to even feel like I could call home to tell them I had gone. There have been many times when even the love I have for them hasn't made it any easier to forgive for something said or done. Life would be easier if families came packaged like in the story books wouldn't it? None the less, I understand how you could feel as you do. That's what makes us human. If after all this time your family still can not play the role you would have them play, sometimes it is best to cast others for the parts. I can' have the relationship with my mother that my sister has (oh they are connected at the shoulder- even at the hip would be to great a distance for them) but I find my "motherly" relationship with others when I can't reach to my own.
I am glad you cared to share your thoughts and personal situation with me, my blog, and those that read it. Keep your anonymity if you must, as long as you know you're welcome here.
Your right about the bad things good people. This is not a case of a bad thing happening to a good person. This is a bad person, doing a bad thing.
On a personal note, I have tried for years to come to have a better understanding of those around me living with mental disorders. Watching how many have treated my dad, is why I have become so offended by ML's defense. He is helping to spread the misconceptions that many have been trying for years to wipe away. I once remember a friend of mine making a comment about how I could ever feel safe with my dad. I simply stated because he was my dad. Nothing to fear from him except those times he caught me being a wild teen. And even then, he reacted most likely how anyone would have. My dad always struggled to be a good person- and yet he was even without the struggle. I think he just forgot sometimes. I hated how people would assume the worse because of his disorder, and all those issues come back up when I hear people using the "mental illness" defense. My dad will tell you- any time I ever was disciplined, I always deserved it. And for the most part I would agree. Although I still think my sister should have gotten way more than me. She didn't though.
As for your family. I left home at 18. Not on speaking terms with anyone. It took a thousand miles between us for me to even feel like I could call home to tell them I had gone. There have been many times when even the love I have for them hasn't made it any easier to forgive for something said or done. Life would be easier if families came packaged like in the story books wouldn't it? None the less, I understand how you could feel as you do. That's what makes us human. If after all this time your family still can not play the role you would have them play, sometimes it is best to cast others for the parts. I can' have the relationship with my mother that my sister has (oh they are connected at the shoulder- even at the hip would be to great a distance for them) but I find my "motherly" relationship with others when I can't reach to my own.
I am glad you cared to share your thoughts and personal situation with me, my blog, and those that read it. Keep your anonymity if you must, as long as you know you're welcome here.
Comments
Don't get me wrong. I love my family and go back to see them when I can. But yes, with attitudes that don't change, we often seek out others to fulfill those needs, and living rather far away, that is needed, too. ;-) Then I almost have to laugh at when I listen to some of them talk about all of the activities and commitments outside the family that they get themselves into. They get the idea that I'm this "big city" girl and I'm probably the one who is the real homebody!
I agree with you completely that ML most likely does have a mental illness. I also think that it goes way beyond what many may think of as mental illness. Also, I agree that any illness he may indeed have is not responsible for his actions. I liked your analogy of his hair color and the other factors that you listed that were indeed fact, but had no bearing whatsoever on his actions.
It sounds like you've gone through a lot over your life with your dad, but that the bottom line is that he sure sounds like he's a good dad. Many should be so lucky. I know I'm fortunate to have the parents that I do!
I just listened to the verdict come in on MJ. I can't say that I'm completely surprised, although I did expect for him to be found guilty on some of the lesser charges. My point goes back to parents...after the earlier publicity, just what in the hell were those parents thinking when they let their kids go hang around with a grown man and spend the night?!?! That's another thing that burns my backside about being childless not-by-choice...watching reports of parents who do not consider the best interest of their children. I honestly believe that they were seeking the $$$, by whatever way they could. Do I like MJ? No. I think he got sicker and sicker, demonstrated with each additional cosmetic procedure. Not that I'm against plastic surgery. LMAO If I had the funds I could envision a face lift, tummy tuck, boob job, liposuction, etc! I think that alone, the degree he took it, is beyond what I consider as normal.
But then again, just how many of us are "normal?"
Anonymous and the City