Imagine for a brief moment that you and your family are on vacation. As the return home, and the return back to normal hectic life looms ever closer at the passing of each day, everyone begins to feel weary over the return home. It's during these last few relaxing days that your child, a sweet faced two year old who you cherish, informs you that she does not want to go home.
As parents, most of us have heard this. Vacations are fun and exciting, and often more appealing that the normal day to day life a child experiences at home. But what if, what if just this one time you child has convincing thought as to why they should not return?
Take a breath, picture your child and imagine that they reason for their persistent object to going home was that someone was hurting them. How do you react? What thoughts rush to your mind, what words do you say?
This is the very situation that happened to the mother of the two year old Conn. child whose father now stands accused of killing a neighbor, allegedly after hearing that the former had molested his child.
Barry James, is the neighbor who was murdered, and his family through their lawyer strongly stand behind the notion that he did not commit this crime, that at no time did he sexual abuse the two year old girl.
Her father, however, after hearing the news from his wife proceeded to climb through James' bedroom window and fatally stabbed him on Aug. 28.
As a mother, I understand the desire to protect one's children. I understand the need to defend them unconditionally. I understand it all. Knowing what mental and physical pain can be inflicted upon a child- I understand how one could avenge their child. After this story broke, I had one of those rare conversations about "crime" with my husband. He normally prefers to leave the interest in crimes to me. We've had the "what if" conversation before. I just needed to have it again. I'm glad we did. He pointed something out to me that I hadn't stopped to think about.
At what point did they call the police and report the abuse?
I had to admit, I don't believe they ever did. Maybe I've missed that detail. Admittedly, I only browsed through some of the news reports, I read quite a few- but others I simply eyed quickly. Still, I didn't see the one where they called the police. The one where a report was filed. Why not? Is it that I just missed it, or it is because there isn't one?
Picturing this as my child, I admit my rage would be more than I could control. The anger and the desire to get justice would overwhelm me completely. But, I'd call the police.
Why? Because justice doesn't not come in the form of a child watching their parent spend their life in jail. Because murder doesn't wipe away the pain already suffered, because that child is going to need help- and it's the parents job to be there to ensure that they get it.
Would I want to kill them for hurting my child? Well, I believe that is the natural animal instinct in all of us. Thankfully, we're more than animals- and as humans most of understand that our own vengeance should not come above the welfare of our children.
There have been other stories, where a enraged parent murders someone supposedly in defense of their child. I've always understood how it can happen, even why it happened. But, it doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it acceptable. Did killing the person ever really benefit the child? It doesn't erase what happened, doesn't heal the pain. Instead- it proves only to ensure that their parent, one of the people they need most- is taken from them.
My heart goes out to the family, to the child and her parents- but I can't agree with what they have done. Justice was not served. No charges were brought up against James, no jury heard the case, no verdict was ever given. Instead, a man was killed. And at this point, he just may have been a predator.... then again he just may have been innocent.
Categories: predators, molesters, murders
As parents, most of us have heard this. Vacations are fun and exciting, and often more appealing that the normal day to day life a child experiences at home. But what if, what if just this one time you child has convincing thought as to why they should not return?
Take a breath, picture your child and imagine that they reason for their persistent object to going home was that someone was hurting them. How do you react? What thoughts rush to your mind, what words do you say?
This is the very situation that happened to the mother of the two year old Conn. child whose father now stands accused of killing a neighbor, allegedly after hearing that the former had molested his child.
The girl "explained that she did not want to go home because of Barry," police said in the report. When her mother asked her to explain, the girl said "that Barry puts it on her belly and her nose," the report said. When her mother asked her when James does this, she replied, "He comes to me in the starry nights."
Barry James, is the neighbor who was murdered, and his family through their lawyer strongly stand behind the notion that he did not commit this crime, that at no time did he sexual abuse the two year old girl.
Her father, however, after hearing the news from his wife proceeded to climb through James' bedroom window and fatally stabbed him on Aug. 28.
As a mother, I understand the desire to protect one's children. I understand the need to defend them unconditionally. I understand it all. Knowing what mental and physical pain can be inflicted upon a child- I understand how one could avenge their child. After this story broke, I had one of those rare conversations about "crime" with my husband. He normally prefers to leave the interest in crimes to me. We've had the "what if" conversation before. I just needed to have it again. I'm glad we did. He pointed something out to me that I hadn't stopped to think about.
At what point did they call the police and report the abuse?
I had to admit, I don't believe they ever did. Maybe I've missed that detail. Admittedly, I only browsed through some of the news reports, I read quite a few- but others I simply eyed quickly. Still, I didn't see the one where they called the police. The one where a report was filed. Why not? Is it that I just missed it, or it is because there isn't one?
Picturing this as my child, I admit my rage would be more than I could control. The anger and the desire to get justice would overwhelm me completely. But, I'd call the police.
Why? Because justice doesn't not come in the form of a child watching their parent spend their life in jail. Because murder doesn't wipe away the pain already suffered, because that child is going to need help- and it's the parents job to be there to ensure that they get it.
Would I want to kill them for hurting my child? Well, I believe that is the natural animal instinct in all of us. Thankfully, we're more than animals- and as humans most of understand that our own vengeance should not come above the welfare of our children.
There have been other stories, where a enraged parent murders someone supposedly in defense of their child. I've always understood how it can happen, even why it happened. But, it doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it acceptable. Did killing the person ever really benefit the child? It doesn't erase what happened, doesn't heal the pain. Instead- it proves only to ensure that their parent, one of the people they need most- is taken from them.
My heart goes out to the family, to the child and her parents- but I can't agree with what they have done. Justice was not served. No charges were brought up against James, no jury heard the case, no verdict was ever given. Instead, a man was killed. And at this point, he just may have been a predator.... then again he just may have been innocent.
Categories: predators, molesters, murders